LOST APPLES

WOW! It's been forever and the last time I checked in I promised to be back soon -- what was I thinking?

Well, enough of that belly aching, I have other, more important things to whine about. For instance, I am not working! I had one half day last week and the next job on my docket is for March 10. I am really sinking into the feeling that I am somehow lacking and that is why I am not working more.

I keep telling myself it is the situation, not me that is to blame but my self-esteem and ego are suffering. Suffering because I am a born doubter. I tend to doubt my own talents and assets, my value as an individual and as a professional educator.

Back to the realities, the things I can physically point to and take stock of. First, the local districts have cut back on workshops, seminars and meetings during the school day to save money by NOT paying a guest teacher. Those things were our 'bread and butter' and kept many a substitute teacher in the black. Second, the district I work in added a huge number of teachers to their substitute teacher list. I am not certain of the number because the district informed the association in November of 2010 they were planning to add 150 teachers but rumor puts the number at closer to 140. Whatever the number, 150 or 140, it makes little difference, there was no shortage of subs before the addition. Third, the economy . . . enough said.

At this moment I can't think of a thing good going on in my professional life. I keep vigil on Aesop in hope of catching a job but that has proved, so far, to be a futile waste of time and just keeps me at the computer fiddling with facebook and Ancestry.com. The family searches have been productive but eventually I will run out of relations to discover. I wonder if I could find a nice retail job to supplement the family coffers?